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Oh dear. Though her publicist had begged me to not just talk about sex with her client, it seemed Pam was already on a roll. (remark by the uploader: the usual, useless procedure before every interview, which regularly ends up in the way their handlers don't like...)

Pam, Rita Hayworth once uttered that famous line, "people go to bed with Rita Hayworth, but then they just wake up with me" and I was...
That's a good line!

But do you relate to it after all?
No --- Pam is fabulous when she wakes up
P: Actually I don't have much sleep to wake up from!
M: She gets up at five, goes to work, comes back at six, then the kids want her attention. They're all over her, and then I want her attention
P: People at work here are, like, "Marcus, you've got to let Pam sleep!" I guess they can see the trailer shaking

You just want to go straight for the dirt, huh, Pam?
I know. I can't help myself. I have Tourette's syndrome.

Keep it up and tell me about when you and Marcus met
Well, I really wasn't looking for anybody 'cause I'd only been out of a relationship for, like, a week. But I was in Monaco presenting an award at the World Music Awards and Marcus was there, too, and [mutual friend and PETA president] Dan Matthews hooked us up. After the show a bunch of us were just hangin' out at the hotel and when it got late one of my girlfriends said: "OK --- all of the couples split up now." I was, like, (forlornly) "But I'm not in a couple." Anyway, Marcus was alone, too, so I said, like, um, (goofily) "Well, you wanna stay?" And then we, um, um, ...

"I don't like 'pretty' guys so I never thought I'd date a model. I like tall, dark and interesting guys --- guys with an edge"

And then we got to know each other (giggles)
M: We didn't come out of the room for two days
P: It was just Boom! I think it's a karmic thing and that there's a Plan --- we both believe in our past lives and I think we've definitely known each other in another life.
M: Definitely

So it was fate?
Definitely. Plus, like, the weirdest thing happened when we left Monaco
M: I'd left town before Pam and at the airport I'd found this article about her in a magazine.
I was missing her so much that I just tore it out and...
P: and a day later, I was in the lounge waiting for the plane and I picked up a magazine. I was thumbing through it and found this ripped-out page. About that time Natalie [Raitano, her VIP co-star] comes over and says, "Hey, did you see that article about the show in that magazine?" and I said "No," and showed her how the page was torn out. Well, it turned out that I'd found the same magazine Marcus had been looking at! Isn't that amazing?!

Amazing. Any other momentous trips?
We went to Cabo San Lucas in Mexico not long ago. We'd gotten there a day earlier than we were supposed to and the hotel was full. Sol we begged and begged for a room and they finally gave us this place over, like, in the maid's quaters. Well, that night we were making love and I glanced over at the window --- and there was somebody looking in! This was on the third floor. The third floor and they still found us! I didn't know if he had a camera or not, but I was, like, "Oh, great --- now there'll be pictures out and everybody think, 'There she goes again, always having to show everybody everything she does'" and...
M: ...and I chased the guy down the beach with a big stick...
P: But he got away. Pervert. No pictures have shown up yet, but I won't be surprised if they do.
M: Pervert!
P: (Laughs) See, ever since the Mexico deal that's our thing. Everything is "Pervert." The whole cast of VIP is doing it now:"Pervert!"
M: (Stands up and shows me a yellow construction worker's hard hat on the fridge with "69" painted on the front and "PERVERT" on the back) See?
(Chuckles merrily)

So what's the best thing about your new pervert, Pam?
He's very protective and he's very, very calm --- which I'm not, really. It's sure been a new thing for me after what I've been through. Such a relief

Speaking of --- I'm assuming --- the "Tommy Lee years", how's it working out with you and Mr. Lee, Marcus?
We've met before, but I haven't seen him since Pam and I started going out. We'll have to meet again soon, though, and work it all out. I know that because he's the father of Pam's children so he'll always be around and I'll have to deal with that. But we have to make it work for the kid's sake and I'm not worried --- everything will work out fine

"People at work here are like: 'Marcus, you've got to let Pam sleep!' I guess they see the trailer shaking"

What do you crave the most about Pambo?
She's the most beautiful, loving wonderful woman I've ever known. And everything she cooks is great
P: You know, I don't like "pretty" guys so I never thought I'd date a model. I like tall, dark and interesting guys --- guys with an edge. So, for me, Marcus may be a model but he's not a "pretty" boy --- he's interesting. We have just so much in common

So might there be some interesting Schenkenberg children one day?
Actually, they'd be Schenkenberg van Mierop children. And I definitely hope so

Pam's said she'd like three more kids. Are you up to that?
I never said three --- I'd like one more, a girl. (Thinks about it). Well, maybe two
M: Whatever. I'm up for it
P: Marcus is so fabulous with the kids --- he's always playing with them and stuff. And, oh my God! in the middle of the night a few days ago one of them was crying and he got out of bed and got him back to sleep without me even hearing anything. Isn't that so sweet?

Adorable. But besides Marcus' wonderful parenting skills, has he taught you any new Swedish sex techniques?
(Smiles over at Marcus) Well, he taught me this: (Says something in Swedish)

And what does that mean?
"Fuck my pussy" (Laughs). Now I'm always in the kitchen yelling it out in Swedish: "Fuck my pussy! Fuck my pussy!" The kids don't know what the hell I'm saying

OK Marcus, if that's where Pammy wants to take us, then you have to answer this: have you ever jerked off to any of her Playboy pictures?
Hasn't everybody?
P: Pervert! (Laughs and sighs) Oh well, I'm a pervert too

So when are you going to do a movie together?
Well, he's trying to direct a movie with me for quite a while

Really? What kind?
Oh, you know... the home kind
M: Yeah!
P: But after what happened the last time, no way!
M: Oh baby, come on, Pleeeese?
P: No!

While you're fighting, tell me --- what do you hate most in the opposite sex?
I hate men with a lot of hair --- hairy guys
M: I hate women with hair under their arms and a big bush --- you know, like where you can't even find it? (Mimes digging through a forest of pubic hair)

"I have the silliest job in the world and I can't believe they pay me for it. I have no burning desire to be a 'serious actress'"

P: (Coyly) Well, you don't have to worry about that with me, do you?

You're a very hairless couple, eh?
Very. (smiles proudly)
M: You're great

Pam --- you're the most politically incorrect sex symbol a boy could wish for. Like in VIP you play a ditzed-out bimbo and...
I'm so sick of everybody taking everything so seriously --- I'm not doing this to be politically incorrect, I just do it. I have the silliest job in the world and I can't believe they pay me for it. I have no burning desire to be a "serious" actress or anything like that. So VIP is a dream job for me --- I get to come in and dress up in my hooker shoes and have fun

You're 33. At what point will the Pam Anderson "hooker" thing be something yu don't want to do anymore?
You know, someone was talking about the "Pam Anderson thing" the other day and, actually, I don't know what the "Pam Anderson thing" is

Here's what it is (I pull out an old Details photograph of her nude and crawling on all fours. Marcus grabs it)
No! (Grabs magazine out of his hands) I hate, hate, hate, hate when you do that. (To me) I can't stand for people to look at my pictures with me there. Sometimes I'll go home and Marcus will be on the treadmill watching VIP and...
M: (Sincerely) But I love it, I love it!
P: Well, I hate it. I'm like: "Don't go through all this stuff in the house or I'll throw it all away." I don't have any of those Playboycovers or anything at home --- nothing. My mother keeps all that stuff. So, Marcus, if you don't stop, I'm gonna have to punish you! (To mey) Unfotunately, whenever I say that to him, he goes: "OK, baby, when?!"

One last question. Your chest is perhaps the most famous in the world. Why do you think men are so obsessed with breasts?
I was just asking Marcus that the other day --- 'cause every time I pass by him he's, like (mimes getting her bosom mauled). I mean, I like to sunbathe nude in the backyard and I can't even get a tan cause he's all over me. I'm, like, (looks down at her chest) what's so special about these two things?
M: Oh, baby, they're just so nice
P: Pervert!


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